We evolved to live in groups. Homo sapiens have risen to the top of the food pyramid because of our unparalleled ability to cooperate. No other species can scale cooperation like we can. This ability to cooperate is one of our greatest strengths—and one of our greatest weaknesses: what is good for the group is not always what is good for the individual.
Groups trend toward hierarchy. The larger the group, the more hierarchical it tends to be. Hierarchy facilitates information processing and decision-making. A dictatorship can make fast decisions and coordinate large resources to get stuff done. A democracy tends to be slower at making decisions and coordinating big projects.
But there is a dark side to hierarchy. Hierarchy feeds our natural desire for status and power. Chimpanzees, our closest genetic relatives, live in groups of 15 to 150 members. They form hierarchical relationships and fight for status and power. Those who reach the top of the status hierarchy gain access to mates and resources. Our genes designed us to play the status game; it’s the best strategy our genes have found to help them attain genetic immortality.
The status game is a zero-sum game. The more we move up in the status hierarchy, the fewer spaces there are. For one person to have status, another person must not have status. If everyone had status, then nobody would have status—that status would be meaningless.
The optimal strategy in zero-sum games is to compete with other players. There are limited resources and we must fight over them. If we see other people as competition, however, our relationships become superficial and disconnected. We engage in relationships only so far as they help us increase status. We restrain from letting our guards down to form deeper relationships for fear that others will stab us in the back.
Capitalism is built on the status game. Capitalism functions because we seek to acquire more status—status in the form of money and property. Status is the fuel of capitalism. Without status, capitalism would cease to run.
We used to play the status game locally. We played it with our family, friends, and community. Today, with the help of capitalism, we play the status game globally. We play it with our coworkers, acquaintances, and celebrities. We are constantly bombarded by media with status signals; we are reminded of our lack of status. We are sold things that high-status celebrities use in an attempt to raise our status.
But there is no end to the global status game; there is no way to win. To play the global status game is to run on a hamster wheel. We run and run and run, and always end up in the same place.
What is good for the group is not always what is good for the individual. Running on the hamster wheel may generate productive energy for the group, but it may generate harmful energy for us as individuals. We become isolated and disconnected. We become anxious and depressed. We become unhappy and lifeless.
If we want to break the vicious cycle of the hamster wheel, we must play a different game. We must see life as a positive-sum game. We can then see other players as friends, not enemies. In a positive-sum game, others contribute to our well-being instead of taking it away.
The optimal strategy in positive-sum games is cooperation. To cooperate, we must learn to connect with others. We must learn to form horizontal relationships instead of hierarchical relationships. Horizontal relationships are built on mutual respect, honesty, and trust.
The way we treat others is the way we’ll be treated. If we treat others as competition, then we’ll be treated as competition. We’ll end up in a lonely place with little to no meaningful relationships. If we treat others as beneficial partners, then we’ll be treated as beneficial partners. We’ll end up in a warm place with many connected and meaningful relationships.
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how to cooperate
